Here are 10 Keys to Successful Dating:  

 

1. Get a life of your own.

• Get grounded;
• Get grouped;
• Get goal-oriented;
• Get giving; and
• Get growing.

2. Use your brain.

• Balance romance with common sense, reason, judgment and discernment.

3. Seek similarities.

• Healthy relationships and marriages are ones in which there is a strong foundation of similarities in background, temperament, goals, dreams, values and the way in which individuals manage and order their physical and mental lives.

4. Take it slow.

5. Set clear boundaries.

Draw definitive lines in the physical/sexual area of your relationship. Your body belongs to you. Communicate how you feel to your partner. Own your own feelings and be able to separate them from your partner.

6. Save sex for marriage.

7. Living together before marriage doesn’t promote a healthier marriage.

8. Engage in healthy responses to conflict.

Avoid “avoidance,” “defensiveness,” invalidation,” and “intensification.”               Fight fairly. Take time to consider what you really need to express and be respectful to your partner. Be quiet and listen.  Seek to understand, then to be understood. Use “I” statements. Negotiate and compromise. Reevaluate your solution at a later time.

9. Notice danger signs and end the relationship.

• Any form of abuse – physical, verbal, emotional or sexual.
• Addictions.
• Infidelity.
• Irresponsibility and immaturity.
• No physical attraction.
• Emotional baggage.
• Denial – you can’t admit that this relationship is not healthy for you.
• Power struggles, jealousy, control and isolation from family and friends.

10. Choose your dating and marriage partner wisely.

• If you date and then marry the wrong person, you will live with significant, negative and lasting consequences of that decision for the rest of your life.
• Discern their character. Character is who you are when no one is looking. Look back at prior relationships to determine patterns of behavior. Crisis reveals someone’s true character. Give your relationship lots of time.
• Do you feel encouraged, affirmed, inspired, and challenged to grow and be a better person when you are with him/her?